My SA Story

On July 16, 2025, I was sexually assaulted by someone I knew. I went to his house to spend time with him and one of my friends, and what started as a normal situation quickly shifted into something which caused me trauma for life.My friend and I biked over to his house to bring him food and to simply hangout. When I first walked into his house he began to kiss me, but I told him to just have my friend come inside because I felt bad. She came inside and we hung out for around an hour. Everything was completely normal, it was just friends catching up about each other's lives. We decided it was time to head home, so my friend went outside to turn the bike on. He told me to stay inside, and yelled to my friend I was going to use the bathroom. I didn’t think anything of it, I thought he was just going to kiss me goodbye and only told my friend that to not seem weird. We got back inside his room and he closed the door. He started making out with me and then pulled my pants down. I said ___ not right now. He continued making out with me and I said ___ not right now it’s fine I’ll see you later. He sort of pushed me onto my back. I remember sitting up and saying no, not right now later is fine. He said no you’re already here now, so why not both now and later, and told me to get on my back again. I said no and he said but you were already on your back, but he was the one who pushed me on my back in the first place. He then started making out with me again and then got on top of me. I was still saying ___ not right now, no, stop, just do it later (I didn’t actually want him to do it later, I just thought maybe if he thought I’d do that with him later, he would stop now and then I just wouldn’t see him again). He pulled his pants down and shoved his fingers, spreading me, and then shoved it inside. I just gave up at this point, I just sort of froze and layed there. It went on for around a few minutes. It was rough and harsh, and the pain was unbearable. I had just given up and accepted it. Finally, it was hurting so horribly I said ___ just please stop. He got up, pulled his pants up, smiled at me, and then said better put your clothes on fast, and opened the door to go get my friend. When I finally got up, my legs felt wet. I looked down and saw that blood was streaming down them and going on his rug. I called him inside the room and he saw. He told me to pull my pants up and get out. He yelled out to my friend during this saying I was taking a long time in the bathroom, and then said I bled everywhere, making it seem like I got my period. It was as if he was making an alibi. I walked outside to see my friend and he immediately closed his garage on us. The second I saw my friend I almost threw up, and pulled down my pants to show her the blood. Finally we got back to my friend’s house after the bikeride, with my clothes now fully soaked in blood. I took a shower, scrubbing all the blood off and trying to wash away his touch. It happened around 8:30pm and I continued to bleed until around 1pm the next day. The night of, I was in this state of shock and an adrenaline rush. I didn’t fully process what had happened right away and tried to convince myself it wasn’t as serious as it felt. I even denied it when others tried to name what it was, because I couldn’t emotionally accept it yet.In the following days, reality started to hit me. I experienced intense confusion, emotional distress, panic, and difficulty functioning normally. I only told a few close friends at first and kept it from my family while I struggled privately. A few months later, I finally told my parents when I had a panic attack during school. This day completely flipped my life around. My parents showered me in love and support, and wanted me to get help immediately. They put me into therapy, got me to see doctors, and had me transfer to my best friend’s school. My life changed in the best way I could’ve ever imagined. At my new school, I finally got the best friends I could have ever hoped for, and support and love from a community that I actually felt like I belonged in. Therapy helped so much with the self-blame, guilt, panic attacks, and triggers, finally making me feel somewhat stable again. Today, the day I am writing this, it has been exactly 9 months since. As much as I have grown and healed since, I still experience triggers, panic attacks, and horrible days where all the old feelings come back. Healing is not linear, and some days will feel harder than others even when things seem like they have gotten better. It is not a setback, it is just a part of the healing journey of a survivor. I could not be more grateful for all of the love and support I have received, I could not have come this far without it all. I am sharing this because I know how isolating it can feel, especially in the beginning when you don’t fully have words for it. What happened does not define me, but it is part of my story — and healing is still ongoing.